JULIA GORDON-BRAMER
https://www.facebook.com/NewsTalkSTL/videos/392913782582794
[Link above!] I’ll be live streaming on @NewstalkSTL ‘s Facebook page Tuesday, Dec. 7th at around 11:45 a.m., having fun and reading #Tarotcards with my good friend @TonyColumboTalk and his pal, @yovic7 (Vic Porcelli). If you can’t catch it live, you can watch later on their Facebook page or here at https://juliagordonbramer.com/index.php/media/ Watch this space for other announcements, as I’ll be on the air on the Colombo and Katie Show in the near future.
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Hello! It’s a busy season for tarot, and that’s a great time to catch me at a public event if you’d like to say hi in person or try out tarot with a quick, cheap read!
Here is my calendar so far. Watch for additions as I have a few tentative things also in the mix. There are still a couple of weekend dates open if you’re planning a party or get together: Friday, December 3rd: Private Event – Unavailable for readings after 4:30 pm. Saturday, December 4th, 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. St. Louis’ Original WinterMarkt at Greg Freeman Park, 6003 Kingsbury Ave., St. Louis The Skinker-DeBalieviere WinterMarkt (Yes, WinterMarkt is spelled right!). This is the original WinterMarkt in St. Louis, a German-inspired festival with holiday arts, crafts… and me. Look for my tarot tent. I’m going to bring some Christmasy and Germanic-themed decks. Readings will be five minutes for $10, or ten minutes for $20. Gift certificates are also available if you’re looking to give a reading as a holiday gift. Thursday, December 9th: Private event – Unavailable for readings after 6 pm. Saturday, December 11th and Friday, December 17th, 4 p.m. to 8 p.m. Winterfest at Kiener Plaza THIS WEEKEND, noon-5 pm, I’ll be doing $10 #tarotcardreadings in my tarot tent at #TreehouseWildlifeCenter’s #OwlFest just outside of Alton! The place is AMAZING. I went to visit delivering a baby rabbit from my Missouri Wildlife Rescue Center and instantly fell in love and wanted to help this place too. My tarot card readings will be a donation to this organization, and a great way to try me out as your tarot card reader. 😉 Come see all their eagles and other raptors! Free admission and a great way to spend a beautiful fall day with the family. Food – Raffles – Vendors – Wildlife Education Programs – More! https://www.treehousewildlifecenter.com/owl-fest?fbclid=IwAR0EUtNC03d4PLPxv5icFCZ3Q2jLXHiGp_EPuPHb_Nt5fTH5sHv6AJX0GNI
The address is 23956 Green Acres Road, Dow, IL 62022 . Treehouse Wildlife Rescue is between Grafton and Alton, just off the River Road. For more information on Owlfest, call Kelly at 618-466-2990. ANIMAL RESCUE, EVENTS, PUBLIC APPEARANCES, TAROT, TAROT CARD READINGS, TREEHOUSE WILDLIFE RESCUE, WILDLIFE Whew! Lots of excitement about the blog on the Missouri History Museum St. Louis Sound exhibit last week. I expected that there might be some backlash, and I got it in spades. More importantly, I also had the most wonderful reconnections and gratitude from more than a hundred people (who, if marketers can be believed with their demographic studies) represent thousands. It was interesting how many commended me for my bravery and said they did not have the courage to speak on this publicly, for fear of being ostracized themselves and from other forms of retribution. Some told me they are actively working with these people and it would be too awkward. Some were afraid of coming off like a “fanboy” or cheerleader for me or Night Times. Now, the interesting thing is that we were not talking Trump or BLM or vaccines. That there is actual fear of one’s real opinion on MUSIC says a lot about St. Louis and social networking today: there is a lot of immaturity and ugliness–some right here in my last blog’s comments. We live in a world now where there is no debate (although I tried somewhat, on Facebook). There is backstabbing, where people pretend they’re your friend on your page and say something else about you on their own. There was character assassination, attacking my tarot, Sylvia Plath (!) and even my husband’s old band, Radio Iodine. There were straw man arguments against these 90s bands I defended for not paying back advances. WTF?! I was glad my kids are grown and gone because they might have been next. As my mentor, Zulfikar Ghose, told me, politics and positioning have been going on since ancient times and it won’t be stopping anytime soon. If I have learned one thing about myself in the almost thirty years since Night Times, it is that I have to speak my truth, even if it endangers my reputation or loses some “friends.” A reputation is what others think about you. Integrity is what you think about yourself. A true friend will stand by you and support that you must be honest and are not going to kiss ass to the cool kids. One of my ACIM colleagues compared my recent exploits to Jesus dealing with the “Scribes and Pharisees.” Ha ha. But I’m no Jesus, and I do have an apology to make. Steve Pick explained on my Facebook page that when he said he had “a hand” in several of the music exhibits at the history museum, that his name was on various pamphlets or records. Not that he controlled the direction of the exhibit. I told him on my page that I apologize for that and I am saying it here as well (because lord knows those comment threads are long and buried). Now, I still think that the exhibit was very much a KDHX-skewed exhibit, but it was wrong of me to single out Pick (who, to his credit, was not nasty. Not to my face, anyway). It is interesting to me how the real point of the last blog–that the nineties, with their load of talent that made national and international success, was left out completely–became mainly a fight about the canonization of Bob Reuter and The Welders. I did not say to leave either act out, just to put them in perspective. I wonder now if I had not mentioned Reuter and The Welders, would there have been half the reaction? I found it interesting that I was positioned to defend the successful–and maybe that is it right there–the exhibit wanted to perhaps present a false success to those it thinks deserved it. Fine, but it should have been billed as such with an underground tag. Many of the bands I defended wrote me and said they don’t give a shit. They’ve got their memories, their fans, and their good lives. In some cases, they’re still selling out amphitheaters. They are past having to prove themselves to anyone and stopped caring about things like that long ago. I suppose then, that if they don’t care, then I won’t either. It did make me sad to read numerous times in public and private messages from young people who began their responses to me, “I wasn’t around in the 90s so I don’t know…” and, “I have heard a little about the scene but don’t really know who was who and what really happened.” I didn’t want the 1990s to be lost, and it seems that it already is. And I was a huge part of it, and so a part of me is lost as well. But hey, the teachings (Buddhism, ACIM, etc.) say it’s all just illusion anyway, and who we are and what we have become from these experiences are truly what matters. And here I am, and some of you love me, and if you don’t… I guess I’ll see you around. 1990S, A COURSE IN MIRACLES, BOB REUTER, BUDDHISM, DEBATE, FACEBOOK, INTEGRITY, KDHX, MISSOURI HISTORY MUSEUM, REPUTATION, ST. LOUIS MUSIC, ST. LOUIS SOUND, THE WELDERS It’s been a few weeks full of music. My tarot clients don’t all know that I used to run an alternative music magazine here in St. Louis called Night Times back in the 1990s. Music has always been my pulse and one of the most important things to me. Music is truly an expression of the spirit. Two weekends ago, I attended the Wilco show, with the Local H/Soul Asylum/Urge show the next night, and decided I still hadn’t had enough of Local H so we drove the four hours to see a one hour show in Kansas City, and then went four hours back home (worth it!). This past Thursday, I was invited to preview the Missouri History Museum’s grand opening of the St. Louis Sound exhibit. I was excited. Andrew Wanko, the public historian, had come to my home about a year and a half earlier, and I had personally given him every copy of Night Times from 1995-1998 (when we were in print; it carried online after that for about five or six years). We had a good conversation about the scene as I knew it then: the vital nightclubs, the most important bands. Andrew is very young and was not alive to know the scene at all, and it was pretty obvious he was going to have to lean on us elders to point the way. I even sent him a copy of my unpublished memoir, Night Times, which, with newborn twins on the way and a toddler at home, I am very sure he did not read a word of. Ha ha. So… the exhibit. We gathered in the auditorium, masked and socially distanced, for the opening remarks. Andrew quoted some Bob Reuter lyrics about St. Louis being “the truest.” No one seemed to know the song Andrew referenced, but that’s cool… Reuter isn’t exactly a household word beyond the crew at KDHX where he was a DJ. I knew Bob casually and he was always friendly to me when I would see him around the City Museum, where I did PR for their circus, or at Duff’s when he occasionally dropped in for a poetry reading. I was horrified to learn of his death falling down an elevator shaft in 2013. I knew that Bob Reuter’s name was on the bill for St. Louis Sound, ranking him as big as Scott Joplin, Josephine Baker, and Nelly. That seemed pretty absurd. Reuter’s music was not really known beyond the KDHX staff and the small clubs he played with his band, Alley Ghost. Yes, he rocked it. But come on… he was not a musical gamechanger. He was a scenester and a multi-talented person, yes. He was not someone who made St. Louis music history, and I think if he were alive right now, he would probably agree. I was pretty pleased with the Mississippi Nights exhibit, which had contributions from my good friends, Garrett Enloe (who is soon publishing a book on Mississippi Nights) and Andy Mayberry (former general manager), as well as owner Rich Frame. It was cool to see the old sign again, the banner, the original bar, Andy’s 1980s satin jacket, and the poster with so many touring bands that included my husband Tom’s band, Radio Iodine. We got a picture: I mulled around the exhibit, checking out the cool old artifacts, such as Josephine Baker’s dress (so tiny!), Johnnie Johnson’s piano, and more. I enjoyed the interactive exhibits and especially the map of where all the music landmarks were. I was kind of shocked to see this huge standing wall devoted to a punk rock group of girls called The Welders that no one had ever heard of (they had one record). It was curious the kind of space and attention these very small acts were getting here, and I had yet to see anything on the 1990s, which was St. Louis’ second musical heyday after the sixties, with swarms of local acts getting signed to major labels. But I would keep looking…
I’m not going to kid you, I was also excited to see Night Times in there somewhere, even if it was just one cover, and so when I came to a wall called “Fanzines,” my heart collapsed a little bit into itself. There was only one fanzine on the display, JetLag, by KDHX’rs Steve Pick and John the Mailman. Now, let me tell you, I have nothing against KDHX. I have been a regular financial contributor, I have guested on some of their shows and used to co-host with John the Mailman once a month on the JetLag Radio Hour, late Saturday nights at KDHX’s first location, an old converted bakery on Magnolia Street. I was even asked to interview in 1995 or so to be their station manager. But the thing I do know is that some (not all) of the gang at KDHX are a little too cool for school, and anything that is regarded as popular with the masses is not going to fly there. They like only the fringe and underground stuff. I like that stuff too, but I think there is room for everything. Back in the 90s, Steve Pick and others had put me and Night Times down. We never had any words face to face. In fact, I don’t think I have actually even met him in person, but he let it be known online and elsewhere that we were too pop and mainstream for their indie-supremacist natures. Surely, I thought, there would be no more rivalry after nearly three decades. But there I was on Thursday in 2021, confronting the facts, this was a KDHX exhibit, with KDHX artists and personalities, and Steve Pick clearly had aligned it with his recently-published book of St. Louis’ music history, presented with a slant (which is fine for a book, but not for a museum), exaggerating the importance of some and annihilating the importance of others. I looked on Pick’s Facebook page and he admitted that yes, he had “a hand in a few exhibits,” and claimed his fanzine spoke for all the fanzines. Well, I sure as hell don’t think he’d think Night Times could substitute a switch for JetLag, or Noisy Paper, or Motion Sickness, or Spotlight, or PlaybackSTL, or Yellow Pills, or Silver Tray, or the Riverfront Times music section (which was the local music Bible), for that matter. The zine scene in St. Louis was as unique as its creators, and an important part of St. Louis modern music. JetLag, in true indie fashion, was made on a copier and had a reach of all of Pick’s best friends and favorite customers at Vintage Vinyl. Speaking for myself, Bob Baker at Spotlight, and Laura Hamlett of PlaybackSTL, we put out monthly professionally printed and distributed publications for years that cost us plenty of our own money in tight advertising months. Hamlett even second-mortgaged her home. Night Times had a reach of 20,000 a month, and Spotlight and PlaybackSTL had at least that many. We had big teams of writers, photographers, and designers. We had advertisers and subscribers. Yet, JetLag supposedly represents us. Sure it does… I gotta say, I’m pretty disgusted. But it’s not about me, and it could be argued that this exhibit is not about music publications. I get that. Here’s where I get even more disgusted: The acts that we most remember from the 1990s… the acts whose audiences are alive to remember them… those bands got shafted big time in this exhibit. The Missouri History Museum would have thousands more attendees to this exhibit if they’d paid attention to the 1990s. We had SO MANY national recording acts that far surpassed the popularity of Reuter or the Welders! Where were The Eyes/Pale Divine? KINGOFTHEHILL? The Urge? Gravity Kills? Stir? Devon Allman? Sheryl Crow? Radio Iodine? Michael McDonald? Bob Kuban? Head East? Mama’s Pride? Pete and Jim Mayer? Anacrusis? Pavlov’s Dog?* The History Museum missed so many opportunities in St. Louis Sound. Like on the display for the Guns ‘N Roses riot, where they could have mentioned that our great local axeman, Richard Fortus, went on to join them (he also played guitar for the Psychedelic Furs, Love Spit Love, Thin Lizzy, Nine Inch Nails, and so many others). They left out the punk and metal scene entirely, except for covering Ultraman (again, friends of KDHX). They never mentioned Kristeen Young, who continues to tour internationally with the biggest acts, or acts we remember fondly such as Robynn Ragland, and Jessica Butler and the Skalars. We have smaller, fun musical contributions, too. Like Ellen Foley, who you’ll remember as the female powerhouse in Meatloaf’s 1977 hit, “Paradise by the Dashboard Lights.” A number of the bands I mentioned above got on MTV. They could have talked about the wild popularity of Pink Floyd tribute band, El Monstero, which sells out the largest amphitheaters. Then there were acts such as Big Fun, Fragile Porcelain Mice, Sinister Dane and The Sheiks who sold out Mississippi Nights regularly for years. NONE of these huge artists were even mentioned. I left the exhibit sad and feeling slighted, but knowing that Night Times was not the only casualty here, not by a long shot. This was not a space problem: they could have easily used that giant wall for The Welders to cover the entire 90s with some posters, cassettes and CDs of the bands I’ve mentioned above. They could have put Night Times, Noisy Paper, Motion Sickness and Playback up next to JetLag in the same space. Reuter could have shared his space with some of the names I’ve mentioned above. They could have tucked The Welders in somewhere more space-appropriate with a quick mention. I don’t blame Andrew Wanko for not knowing, but I do wish he had checked some other sources beyond Steve Pick to give, to quote Bob Reuter in Andrew’s opening statement, “the truest” depiction of St. Louis music. It ain’t by a long shot. *Some of these bands, like Radio Iodine, were listed with national and international acts on the Mississippi Nights poster but did not have any exhibits to say who they were or that they came from St. Louis. ANACRUCIS, ANDREW WANKO, BIG FUN, BOB KUBAN, BOB REUTER, DEVON ALLMAN, EL MONSTERO, ELLEN FOLEY, FANZINES, FRAGILE PORCELAIN MICE, GRAVITY KILLS, GUNS N ROSES, HEAD EAST, JESSICA BUTLER AND THE SKALARS, JETLAG, JIM MAYER, JOHN THE MAILMAN, KDHX, KING OF THE HILL, KINGOFTHEHILL, KRISTEEN YOUNG, MAMA'S PRIDE, MICHAEL MCDONALD, MISSOURI HISTORY MUSEUM, MO HISTORY MUSEUM, MOTION SICKNESS, MUSIC EXHIBIT, MUSIC PUBLICATIONS, NIGHT TIMES MAGAZINE, NOISY PAPER, PALE DIVINE, PAVLOV'S DOG, PETE MAYER, PLAYBACKSTL, RADIO IODINE, RICHARD FORTUS, RIVERFRONT TIMES, ROBYNN RAGLAND, SHERYL CROW, SINISTER DANE, SPOTLIGHT MAGAZINE, ST. LOUIS MUSIC, ST. LOUIS SOUND, STEVE PICK, STIR, THE EYES, THE SHEIKS, THE URGE, THE WELDERS, ZINES I’ve seen it a million times. Clients who show up in their tarot cards as struggling with infidelity issues (their own or that of their partner). There can be a lot of shame around this subject. Some are trying for honesty with their partners by declaring themselves polyamorous or in an open relationship. In these recent readings, I became clear about the real meaning behind some people’s tendency to stray. And it’s probably not what you think.
Psychologists might say this is an unmet need for attention from the opposite sex or unmet sexual needs. Sometimes, that is correct, but it seems to me to be a lot more profound than this. A Course In Miracles, and many other spiritual texts, explain that our whole purpose for being in these human bodies is for spiritual work around Relationship. We are here to solve the problems around all kinds of love: family, friendship, and everyone’s favorite, the lover. Most of us on a spiritual path will know that we are one with the God-Source, and that separation is the human condition and illusion. We spend so much of our lives feeling alone, separate and incomplete, seeking THE ONE to be the other half. We are always trying to get back to God, in essence, but we usually try to do this through a sexual partner. The sex act itself is that two-become-one idea tangibly expressed, if only temporarily. My clients and others wrestling with infidelity issues and/or finding balance in an open relationship are, at base, just wanting to know love. We want REAL love. True love. Holy, sacred, fulfilling, uniting love. And here’s the thing: at the same time, we know that to go there is to enter into a relationship that deeply scares the shit out of us. First off, true love takes absolute vulnerability and honesty. It takes bravery, and it takes work. It also takes the belief that you are lovable– which is too much for many right off the bat. It takes dropping away from the egoic “I” to become a “We.” The person who strays is afraid of going that deep because they are afraid of being hurt. They don’t trust love because they haven’t known it to work for them too well in the past, and maybe never had very many good examples of what successful love looks like. So, they allow the distraction of another to take the attention off of the terrifying reality that true love might be in the palm of one’s hand and demand your full attention or even heart- and back-breaking work. I think of how someone once explained his ADHD to me, saying, “It’s a very serious condition but…Oh, look, a butterfly…” Distractions and addictions are such a great way to not have to think about your problems. I don’t think anyone commits or marries a person with conscious designs to cheat. It may undoubtedly be a failing and weakness in character if done in dishonesty. But the person who strays is not evil, not usually, anyway. Instead, this is someone who is in love with love but also scared of the demands of the real deal: how it might change them, what might have to be sacrificed, and other ego-based ideas that have nothing to do with real love. I like to point to the Bible’s definition of love in I Corinthians, Chapter 13. It is not about passion or drama. To a lot of people, this summary might even seem a bit boring: 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. I think that “fully known” bit is a big deal. Not all of us are ready to be fully known. We keep our secret corners. We keep some self for ourselves, but we must understand that this gets in the way of complete love. It takes work always to be conscious as life changes by the minute, and what was complete yesterday might be incomplete today. I am not here to debate if it is possible to be in true love with more than one person. I think there are different kinds of love, to be sure. But the commitment to one person for romantic love is collaborative work and a potentially massive opportunity for both people to grow. My husband Tom and I have been married for 22 years at the time of this writing. Recently, he said to me, “We are better together than apart.” I know this to be true, and I know that he fits every definition of love in I Corinthians. Every day of our marriage is a work in progress, a collaboration, and sometimes, yes, even effort. But the result is great and I am better with him. I hope that in whatever way you practice love, you will go to the vulnerable, deepest spaces in your own heart. I pray you will be faithful in loving yourself, so that you can be faithful to others in all the expressions of love you seek. I love the heck out of you all. A COURSE IN MIRACLES, BIBLE, FAITHFULNESS, GUILT, I CORINTHIANS 13, INFIDELITY, LOVE, OPEN RELATIONSHIPS, POLYAMOROUS, RELATIONSHIPS, ROMANCE, ROMANTIC LOVE, SHAME, SPIRITUALITY “With my gypsy ancestress and my weird luck / And my Taroc pack and my Taroc pack…”
These are famous words from Sylvia Plath’s poem, “Daddy,” one of her most famous ever. And Taroc is another name for the Tarot, as so many of you know already. Since Plath’s cards came up for auction at Sotheby’s, many people have been writing me about them. Yes, of course I want them. Ha ha. Doesn’t everyone who loves Plath. But already at over $7500 USD, and things will no doubt get fierce toward the end of the bidding (which stops on the 21st at 9:22 a.m. central time). Those who have read my book Fixed Stars Govern a Life: Decoding Sylvia Plath know that I have written that much of Plath’s poems were written based on imagery from the Rider-Waite tarot deck, different from this one. This tarot deck above is a Tarot de Marseille. Part of the reason I hold (and still hold) that the Rider-Waite imagery influenced Plath is because so much of it is clearly in the poems, most obviously in her “Poppies in October” which is the Rider-Waite Judgement (British spelling) card all over it. But throughout my book I make many references to Tarot de Marseille influence as well, occasionally with pictures, such as in my decoding of “Lady Lazarus” for The Lovers card. From Plath’s very first Ariel poem, “Morning Song,” the Marseille deck is named numerous times. But at the end of the day, no matter which deck you’re looking at, the tarot cards mean the same thing and FSGL remains relevant. I’m not convinced that Sylvia or Ted didn’t also have a Rider-Waite deck, by the way, as it is the more famous one. Tarot expert Mary Greer told me that in 1956 London, the Rider-Waite would likely have been the easiest deck to find. Regardless, there is also The Painted Caravan, the book Plath used to teach her tarot. This book has other versions of the cards, and explanations of their meanings, as well as illustrations, based on the Rider-Waite system. Academics have always rejected this tarot premise, and I am not surprised as they are notoriously atheistic, as well as probably ignorant to tarot and mysticism. (Also, who wants to learn that they might have missed key meanings all these years, or challenging ideas upon which their careers are based? Ouch! It makes sense to squash my work in that light) Some of the leading Plath “experts” are clearly ignorant to understanding poetry at all. Others teach it but have no understanding of creativity and certainly do not practice it. And then there are the scholars, like Dr. Ann Skea, who knows her mysticism yet she has written that she believes I am wrong. Skea told me herself that she had not read my work because she did not want to be influenced. Um, how can you critique work, or even challenge it, without reading it? This is reflective of much of the attitudes today: I am right, you are wrong, there is no debate and I’m not interested in hearing other sides. It’s disgusting, in my opinion. I abandoned trying to find acceptance in the Plath camp long ago. I have been much more warmly embraced by other creatives, academics outside the Plath field (especially those interested in mysticism), and of course, practitioners of mysticism themselves. I really need to get some more books out but have been too busy with my tarot these past few years. The Decoding books on “Lady Lazarus” and “Daddy” sell steadily, and I have sold a number of PDFs of my first, now sold-out and out-of-print book, Fixed Stars Govern a Life. But back to the auction: there is a terrible GoFundMe effort out there, to get a group of people to buy Plath’s tarot cards which they intend to break up and send one card to each funder. There are SO many reasons why this is wrong. From the spiritual point of view, I would never break up a tarot deck. From the materialistic point of view, this devalues the Plath-owned deck to virtually nothing. The pieces would no doubt be scattered and some would be cared for better than others. I told a client it reminds me of a story from the Bible, where wise King Solomon must decide which one of two women get a baby that they are both claiming to be their own. “This is easy,” says the King (I’m paraphrasing). “Grab a sword and split the baby down the middle so you can both share.” One woman panics and says no, no, please give him to the other woman. And Solomon knows then that the panicking woman is the true mother and gives her the child. My point being: these people in the GoFundMe don’t love Plath. They’re just fetishizing, like so many others out there, “for a piece of [her] hair or [her] clothes.” (“Lady Lazarus”). Whoever does win Plath’s tarot cards, I believe, inherits a duty to them. These are hopefully to be well-preserved in acid-free paper, probably in an air-tight (and certainly water-tight) space with no or limited light. Ideally, these cards should be made available to scholars for research. I pray that either Indiana University or Smith College can come up with the cash to make these part of their outstanding Plath collections. In the meantime, we’ll be watching and holding our collective breath… ACADEMIA, DR. ANN SKEA, KING SOLOMON, MARY GREER, PLATH, SYLVIA PLATH, SYLVIA PLATH'S TAROT CARDS, TAROC, TAROT, TAROT DE MARSEILLE Hi, Readers.
I have this bad lightbulb in my kitchen that, no matter how I tighten or loosen it, it does this irritating flash that feels like a strobe light. It gives me such a headache, and I would rather turn it off and fumble around in the dark than wince through that weird energy. It has been an entire summer of weird energy, hasn’t it? Funny how we all just endure this stuff rather than take the time to get up on a ladder and change the bulb. Today, one of my favorite regular clients told me that I should change my title from “Tarot Card Reader” to “Intuitive Counselor.” I like that. The only problem is that the word counselor opens me up to a great deal of responsibility–some of it legal. Anyone who knows me and my work knows that I am not your average fortune-teller. Truth is, I am on a spiritual path, as we all are whether we know it or not. It’s my goal to get conscious of that path and teach my clients how to do the same. I want to learn about and share the tools I pick up to help others manage life. With regular tarot work, there will be revelations and understandings about your actions and energy to give you the guidance to make the decisions and changes you want. What a busy summer it has been. I have had my own epiphanies and spiritual growth as I stumble through each day–often much less elegantly than I wish I could present here. As I said above, events are back and it feels good to get out of the house and away from Zoom/FaceTime/etc. which have been decent substitutes, but nothing beats an in-person reading and I think we’re all sick of screens. So far, events have been private parties but I am hoping we will soon return to festivals, etc. I do already have a Mardi Gras event on my calendar for 2022. I am back to writing and have been working on poems at a fever pitch. So many, and I daresay I feel it is some of my best work. I’ll probably try to get some published again soon (There is always the joy in writing them, but not so much in the submission-rejection-acceptance process). My personal fitness program has dominated most of this year and last and I am in the best, strongest shape of my life, which isn’t half bad for 57 years old. I continue to volunteer at my beloved Wildlife Rescue Center, although I’ve cut my hours back, post-Covid. I’ve been doing a lot of traveling domestically, with another big trip soon. And maybe the most fun of all, I am back to seeing concerts as they return to our city. On my calendar: Wilco and Sleater-Kinney; Soul Asylum, Local H (I’m a rabid Local H fan), Juliana Hatfield and the Urge; Squeeze; Flash Forward Tribute to our dearly departed friend Pat Oldani; Alanis Morrisette, Garbage and Liz Phair; probably Dinosaur Jr; Alice Cooper; maybe the Toadies; definitely Local H (again); and Walk the Moon (singer Nick is a bestie). And who knows what else will be announced and added to the calendar? If you’re at a show and see me there, please say hello. Now, if I can only convince my husband Tom to attend the ones he is not playing in (He’s in the Flash Forward show with Pat Oldani’s old band, Starnineteen). Musicians never want to be in the audience. Ha. As I wind this up, the heavens are opening up with more weather. Thunder is growling and the wind is blowing the birds erratically all over the sky while trees sway and bend to frightening degrees. It’s the kind of weather that feels scary to be out in, even though the rain has yet to start. But it’s all energy, right? And there is a thrill with the impending danger and a joyful feeling of being alive. I just need to find that joy back in my kitchen. EVENTS, PUBLIC EVENTS, TAROT, TAROT CARD READINGS As a regular practitioner of hot yoga (note: yoga, like life, is always practice and very few of us perfect it), there are those extra-challenging moments in Tree Pose, Dancer, or Warrior Three when I get wobbly and my balance is off. The second I put my attention on myself and what is wrong, everything gets worse and I fall out of the pose. The way to handle this wobble is to focus on a point across the room, something unmoving and steady. This is the Drishti, which is Sanskrit for “eyesight” or “vision.” This morning in my yoga practice, I realized that the Drishti is something we need to carry with us off the mat and out into the world. Things come up in our personal and professional lives that knock us out of balance and occasionally, we come crashing down. It seems, for me, like these times come up when I am feeling the most comfortable and secure, even overconfident with my practice of life. And so, in my too-relaxed state, I may lose that concentration, the focused gaze, and heightened self-awareness toward what I want my outcome to be. For instance, as soon as I thought I had perfected the Dancer pose, I would lose it again, or else, I’d have a series of bad days when it seemed that standing on one leg was just too much to ask of myself (much less tipping forward with my opposite foot extended over my head). Dancer pose is one of my favorite challenges. I am not great at it. However, when I accomplish and hold it for a length of time, I feel strong and balanced and, dare I say, elegant. And the reason I can pull it off is that I am focused on my Drishti, which in class, is usually something as simple as a doorknob or a little red light on the smoke detector. These objects change, depending on where I am situated in the studio each day. My Drishtis actually exist behind me, yet are reflected, along with my own image, in the mirror in front. Past, present and future… sort of.
Out in the world, our Drishtis are different for different people but equally as important. For an athlete, the focus might be the finish line. For a salesman, it might be reaching a quota. For a politician, it might be winning an election and for a chef, it might be mastering a perfect souffle. It is always the unmoving thing upon which to hold your concentration, to get you to a goal that ultimately reflects upon your own strength. Sometimes we look away, screw up, and fall out of balance. But if we’re disciplined, we lose ourselves in our Drishtis to find ourselves at the end. I have a lot of metaphorical Drishtis, from yoga itself to A Course In Miracles and Buddhism. My main Drishti, I have come to realize, is my husband of 22 years (a holy number!), Tom Bramer. He is my rock, the unmoving point I can always find and lean upon in both the strong and wobbly times. The wobbly times suck, but in the shaking and unease is where the lessons are and where we build our strength. ***** I know I always say this, but I am going to try to get back to a more regular blogging practice. This past year and a half have never been busier and it does feel more important to put actual flesh and blood clients ahead of this social networking world. CONCENTRATION\, DANCER POSE, DRISHTI, FOCUS, HOT YOGA, TREE POSE, WARRIOR THREE, YOGA Over these last few weeks, I have been thinking a lot about The Lord’s Prayer and what it means for us today. If you have a Christian background, as I do, you probably know it by heart. It is from the New Testament when the disciples asked Jesus to teach them how to pray. From the metaphysical point of view, The Lord’s Prayer is powerful stuff. Let’s explore:
Our Father OK, in this feminist, gender-free culture we’ve got today, just starting with the word “father” might turn some people off. But the point is that we are all related. This is a blood-spirit-identity connection. Who art in Heaven What and where is heaven? The idea of heaven is different for different people, according to your belief system. Some consider Heaven to be an actual place. Or, if you think like me, heaven is a state of being and returning to the Source. We get glimpses of it now and then, but mostly (unfortunately) we are on Earth and not feeling it. I do realize that “Art” is an archaic use of what we would now say as “is” or even “resides.” But I really like the poetic double-meaning possibilities here of Art as creation, too. That makes God the creator. Hallowed be thy name I love this one! This line is about the power of words. If everything real contains God (in line with ACIM, Alchemy, and many other spiritual teachings), then all of our words should be used thoughtfully and respectfully. “In the beginning was the word, and the word was with God, and the word was God.” (John 1:1) When we verbalize hate, or self-criticism, or any other negativities, our God-self reinforces that reality. Thy kingdom come This is interesting. It is not about us going to the kingdom (which one might presume under traditional Christian thought to be the afterlife). This is about the kingdom coming to US. Now! This is peace on earth. This is loving all, unconditionally. Kick-ass. Thy will be done A hard one for most of us free-thinkers who want to be in charge of our own wills. But that, of course, is ego. And any Buddhist or student of A Course In Miracles will tell you that our own will/ego/attachment to how we want things gets us in trouble and tends to leave us miserable. God’s will is higher than that, and that is where our happiness is. On Earth, as it is in Heaven The old Hermetic principle rewrote this as: “As above, so below. As within, so without.” It is about creating the Earth and our minds to reflect the Source. It is about peace and love on Earth. Give us this day, our daily bread Here is a line that naturally points to gratitude. We are not petitioning God for a Lexus, or fame. We humbly request that our basic needs be met. It is our job to do the rest. And forgive us our trespasses Some translations read the word “trespass” as “sin,” some as “debt.” I grew up reading and hearing “trespass,” which of course is a broken rule or a violation against another’s boundary. The word “sin” means “to miss the mark”–which I love because that shows a less malevolent side of human weakness. “Debt,” of course, is what is owed to someone or something. Any version of this line is about the bad energy we carry with others. As we forgive those who trespass against us We can’t exactly expect to be forgiven without forgiving, right? What goes around comes around. This is true Karma. Lead us not into temptation Damn, don’t you love temptation? Temptation, of course, is the desire to sin (which we just went over). Whether your temptation is a hot fudge brownie sundae, or someone else’s spouse, or committing a crime, no matter how good it might feel in the moment there is always regret and shame later. And compounding it all with lies, to the self or others, to cover it up. That big snowball grows and grows as it rolls downhill… But deliver us from evil I am inclined to think like the Buddhists and ACIM here again. Evil, or some might say, the Devil, is also within us. That is the ego stuff that justifies temptation and sin and eventually undoes us. *** Jesus ended the Lord’s Prayer there. In the Episcopal Church I grew up in, we closed with “For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever and ever, Amen.” Those are church niceties that have no real power. The Lord’s Prayer truly reflects God’s words, and that is the only prayer you need to know. A COURSE IN MIRACLES, ACIM, BUDDHIST, CHRISTIAN, CHRISTIANITY, HERMETICISM, HOW TO PRAY, INTERPRETING THE LORD'S PRAYER, JESUS, METAPHYSICAL, SPIRITUALITY, THE LORD'S PRAYER, THE LORD'S PRAYER THROUGH ACIM, THE LORD'S PRAYER THROUGH BUDDHISM, THE LORD'S PRAYER THROUGH HERMETICISM |