The End of Another One

Whew. When I look back on my Facebook Memories, I see all these complaints about how bad 2018 was, and then 2019, and then 2020 goes without saying. Now, I’m not one to want to perpetuate negative energy, and so even though the weather is gray and chilly, and I’ve gained a few pounds over the holidays, and the protein drink I just got out of my fridge has congealed to something undrinkable, and 2021 was, well… only slightly better than 2020… I’m going to share a few thoughts about this year and my plans for the next.
Firstly, I’m going to be on the radio again on New Year’s Eve! My old pal Tony Colombo (we go back to the 90s alternative music scene when he was at the Point and I did Night Times) and new friend Katie Fitzgerald on NewstalkSTL 101.9 FM are hosting a New Year’s Eve “variety show” format and I should be on early in the 4:00 pm hour. If you aren’t able to tune in, I will post any links to recordings or videos here and on my Media page. If you ARE able to tune in, call for a free tarot card reading!
I’m seriously trying to be better about social networking (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn and blogs here). I am learning about how to take better pictures, create content, etc. I have to say that this is not a comfortable world for me. I’m not very photogenic and usually just have one cheesy smile across all photos because otherwise, it’s that “resting bitch face.” Most of my photos have been the same headshots, with no body, varied expressions, or movement. I’m trying to relax and genuinely smile at a mechanical gadget on a tripod, and this feels very false. But here is an effort for you:

Holiday greetings from the dining room table where I do all of my in-person tarot card readings!

​So, in the Things I Did Right column for 2021, I had several fun media appearances, I reminded my clients that I do gift certificates for the holidays and was well-rewarded for that, and tarot has been busy as ever. I have continued my personal training and yoga, which has now become an essential part of my life (shoutouts to The Fitness Edge and YogaSix!). I continued my volunteer work at the Wildlife Rescue Center, but cut my hours back a bit and am taking the winter (slow season) off to get more writing done. I started a collection of poetry about this work and, while it is taking a while to complete, I am pretty happy with what I have done so far and have begun sending out some individual poems for publication.
This year I started a study group for A Course In Miracles, and this group has become very special to me and an essential part of my week (message me if you’re interested). I continue with my Buddhist Women’s Group as well, which is also integral to my spiritual growth and overall sanity during such strange years as these.
In the Things I Wish I’d Done Differently column for 2021, my writing has taken a back seat to the tarot, and I’m just not sure how to correct that as those who work for themselves know we have to take the work when we get it because it is our livelihood. There’s a Plath conference next year and I didn’t even send in an abstract to present! This is partly because I am too busy, partly because it is all on Zoom (and aren’t we all sick to death of Zoom events?), and partly because I have been alienated by most of that crowd and am tired of trying to show them something they are not interested in seeing (Academia is the most close-minded place in the world; take it from someone who used to teach).
And then, there are those Strange Events I’m Not Sure How to Categorize; things that feel both right and wrong:
I’ve learned about personal and professional boundaries the hard way. My line of work is emotionally demanding and can form connections that blur these lines. It can be a hard call to distance from someone who’s in a tough personal situation, even though I care. Likewise, sometimes people lean too heavily on me and expect me to fix their lives. Only they can do that. Some professional relationships ultimately strained my family life–that stopped this year.
I also had a misunderstanding with a client that taught me the extent of irrational fear controlling people right now. I learned that standing firm in what I know is the truth, even at the expense of losing a key customer, is the right thing to do. It also taught me what our relationship really was. This is the trouble with being a tarot card reader: we don’t read for ourselves because there are biases there; I wanted to believe in a friendship that wasn’t real when push-comes-to-shove.
There was that whole St. Louis Sound thing at the Missouri History Museum… Ugh. I still groan just thinking about it. I stand by almost everything I said about the exhibit (I posted a correction on part of it). I made a lot of enemies with that blog, but I also resurrected a lot of great music friendships. And I was reminded of what I already knew: that I am brave enough to say it!
These divisive politics of the last couple of years have lost and tested some of my relationships. I feel as I always have, never ascribing a side but voting instead for people and causes. Anger and fear are not going to control me. Nor am I going to label groups of people as good or bad, because I know humanity is much more complicated than that. I believe in promoting empowerment, not victimization (this does not mean I don’t feel compassion, only that I want to elevate the individual). I may not agree with every point of view, but I will not condemn or judge another for thinking differently than me. Even if they do this to me.
And without further ado, my 2022 Resolutions:
I am going to send out more manuscripts for publication. For me, the writing part has been relatively easy and I have FIVE complete or nearly-complete books on my hard drive! (Night Times, a memoir of my days running an alternative rock zine as a single mom in the 1990s; The Magician’s Girl, the mysticism of Sylvia Plath and Ted Hughes; The Tarot Diaries, real-life tarot stories; Sylvia Plath’s Early Poems; and a collection of poetry, to be named). Add to that numerous essays and individual poems. I simply hate the submission process, and writers submitting whole books know that this is a very time-consuming process. (Would someone like to be my agent? I will pay you!)
I am going to limit my waste: of food, money, and energy. This means not buying so much at the grocery store that goes bad before I can eat it, or subscribing to an online class I don’t have time to complete, or watching too many videos sent by well-meaning friends, or allowing my writing time to be interrupted with texts, phone calls, etc.
While I love my AppleWatch, I am not going to let it control me with its commands for me to close my move ring, etc. Apple, you are not my master! (Just as I finished that sentence, my watch signaled: “Time to stand!”)
What are your resolutions?
2021, 2022, NEW YEAR, NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS, NEWSTALKSTL, REGRETS, RESOLUTIONS, STRANGE EVENTS, SYLVIA PLATH, TAROT, TAROT CARDS, TAROT READINGS, TAROT WORK, THINGS I DID RIGHT, THINGS I WISH I DID DIFFERENTLY, YEAR END